Three Things You Can Do To Help a Senior Loved One Deal with the Loss of Their Spouse
Three Things You Can Do To Help a Senior Loved One Deal with the Loss of Their Spouse
The first thing you need to know about helping a senior deal with the immense grief of the loss of a spouse is that their grief is singular, and that it’s their grief. There’s no wrong or right way to grieve, as long as they’re not harming themself or those around them. When helping a loved one cope with loss, patience and understanding are the main virtues. Here are three important tips to be a better rock in their time of need.
Encourage healthy distractions
Those deep in the stages of grief often self-isolate and deprioritize social interactions. The irony of this is that it’s those very social interactions that can help lift them out of depression and help them work through their grief. Do what you can to encourage distractions in their life, which amount to activities they enjoy and social experiences they can look forward to. Help them pick up a new hobby, or rediscover an old favorite. Offer to go with them to church and other community functions. Some in grief can find comfort in caring for another living thing, so adopting a dog or a cat is never out of the question.
Help pick up the slack around the house
While a grieving person can utilize distractions to help them cope, there’s a fine line between filling one’s day with activities so they don’t dwell on their sadness and that person being overwhelmed by life’s unending responsibilities. The latter can exacerbate your senior loved one’s grief and hinder their inability to move through it. That’s why you should do what you can to help them pick up the slack around the house. Your loved one’s spouse may have done most of the cooking, cleaning, handling of bills/money, etc. Give them a break from their daily stresses by helping out in the kitchen. Make sure their home is clean (a dirty, disorganized home can trigger poor mental health). Offer to take them to and from doctor’s appointments. If you can spare the cash, think about hiring them a housekeeper for a few months.
Hospice Foundation of America’s senior consultant Kenneth Doka suggests that you don’t put the burden on your loved-one. Instead of asking how can I help you, identify areas in which they need assistance and take the initiative.
Be a guardian for their overall wellbeing
Seniors who have just lost a spouse are more prone to deteriorating mental health. Grief is a complex emotion, and runs alongside feelings of sadness, depression, isolation, anger, and hopelessness. It’s your job to ensure your senior loved one makes good choices when it comes to their mental health.
You should be on the lookout for signs of substance abuse. Seniors are already at a higher risk of this, and the risk increases during periods of extreme emotional trauma. Remember that substance abuse doesn’t have to be alcohol or illicit drugs – many seniors can develop dangerous dependencies on prescription medications like painkillers and sleeping aids. Watch out for extreme personality shifts, severe isolation, and drug-seeking behavior. If your senior loved one is asking to go to different doctors, they may be shopping around for drugs. Seniors with substance issues often have trouble sleeping and show a severe loss in appetite.
In general, you should do what you can to encourage a healthy diet and physical activity. These two pillars of healthy living not only affect their physical health, but can greatly improve mental wellbeing.
Grief is not easy, and there’s no magic bullet solution to help people overcome it. All you can do is be supportive, try to encourage healthy behaviors, and provide all the assistance you can in their daily lives. The simple fact of your presence and commitment will be more of a help to them than you may know.
Photo Credit: Pixabay.com
Author: Jackie Waters (Hyper-Tidy.com)